How Pasha Got Her Groove Back...

Today’s weather was a sunny and balmy oasis in the midst of an otherwise dreary, cold, and icy winter. Temperatures soared into the high-60s, and I was determined to make the best of this rare, precious gem. So…I played hooky this afternoon (sorry Heather), and left the office a bit early.

This winter has been brutal, but I have to say that I honestly kept to my workout schedule and have considerably boosted my physical ability.  About a mile into my jog, however, I realized that my dog, Pasha, had not survived the winter unscathed. Her snorting, laying down in the middle of the greenway, and “fake” peeing so that we could stop really put a damper on the workout. If you have met Pasha, you know that she is no light-weight. Usually a jolly ball of muscle and enormous spunk, she was really struggling. Just look at her. Pitiful...

It was then that I realized that I have not been a good winter dog owner. As any dog owner knows, taking your loved one out in below freezing temperatures does not bring out the best in you. The trips are often rushed, filled with undignified pleas of “Hurry up. Go potty. Please, go potty” in that weird voice reserved only for pets and small children. Cool points gone.

I digress as always, so back to the point. Beginning tomorrow, Pasha will begin her “fit plan” to get back to her normal weight and exercise routine. I am not saying she has to get back to hiking status of years past when, thanks to Griffin McClure, we got lost in the woods for several hours only to run out of water, get stung by a swarm of bees, and encounter every spider web known to man before finding our way out of the jungle. Not really the jungle, just Uwharrie, but who is counting?  No, she just needs to make it through the three mile run and assist in my training for the upcoming sprint triathlon. Wish her luck! Maybe I will get her some zebra print sweatbands. After all, she has to look good while working out. 

Haters gonna hate...

I hit the gym right after work today, hoping to squeeze in a good workout before the “Dangerous Winter Storm Iago” pounded us with 3-5 inches of snow. I swear, mid-westerners must think we are idiots.  I also thought the pending snow storm would curtail some of the gym newbies still high on their New Year’s resolution kicks from the gym and over to the grocery store for their staples of milk, bread and eggs. I am always amazed at how many people flock to the stores to get these few items. I don’t know about you, but if it is going to snow and I am going to be stuck inside, I don’t want my only meal option to be French toast. How about packing the cart with some chicken and shrimp, fruits, veggies and you might as well throw in some expensive wine for good measure. I mean really…

Once again, I digress and truly apologize. Back to the gym topic. If you look at the world through the eyes of 3LW (to save you country lovers the hassle of looking this one up, it is a hip hop, soul and R&B group popular in the early 2000’s), there are four types of people in this game we call life: playas, haters, callers, and ballers.  Over 99% of the time, I would consider myself a baller – I have style, class, and am generally good at what I do. I typically don’t do stuff I am not good at because it pisses me off, but that isn’t really relevant to this topic of conversation. But over the past two weeks, the New Year’s resolution seekers who are clogging up the gym are throwing me off my game. I will be the first to admit that at gym time recently, I transform from baller to hater. I know, it is shameful and I should wish the best for others and be in support of their healthy choices, but they are just constantly pissing me off. Last week, when I was walking in, one lady had the nerve to complain that she couldn’t find a parking spot and she had to walk a long way to the gym. Really? Another one strategically positioned herself in front of a large group of guys before bending over to do her “stretches.” They were cute, but puke. One guy tried to carry on a conversation while we were swimming laps, and another farted his way through spin class. Today was much better. Whether it was the snow or just the fact that it is 17 days into the month and people’s steely determination and laser-like focus on getting healthier has faded, the gym has gone back to normal. Just the way I like it.