In the end, it is just a number.

The past few days have been a struggle. It was not a struggle with eating healthy or exercising – I am rocking in both of those aspects. My challenge the past week was with the dreaded scale. Every time I would go into the bathroom, the damn thing would beckon me over to it. It is like in The Lord of the Rings, when the ring’s power has memorized Gollum and his desire for its power has overtaken his ability for rational thought. Well, maybe not to that extreme, but you catch my drift. I totally caved and was filled with an onslaught of emotions: elation (because I had lost 5 pounds), relief (that I could report to you positive change and not look like a total idiot), but also disappointment.  I believe myself to be a strong, confident woman, but at times I find even myself caught up in our society’s thin-ideal standard of female beauty. The airbrushed, anorexic, even a model isn’t good enough, constant extortion of women in movies, magazines, songs, television and advertisements “female beauty.”  This reminds me of a video that the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty posted, outlining the creation and production of a billboard ad. If you haven’t seen it, check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omBfg3UwkYM . Did you notice that the pre-advertisement is for food or beauty products? lol. The video will leave you speechless.

Several years ago, Harvard University conducted a study of over 3,000 women and when asked if they consider themselves beautiful, only 2% said yes. More women are struggling with eating disorders than are struggling with cancer. Let me repeat: More women are struggling with eating disorders than are struggling with cancer. What breaks my heart the most in not my inner struggle or perception of myself, because I DO understand the dynamics at work. It is for those who, for whatever reason, do not have the ability, confidence or knowledge to break this destructive cycle of thinking. Almost half of 9-11 year olds are on some type of diet. Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women. One in four women uses unhealthy methods of weight control (fasting, skipping meals, excessive exercise, laxative abuse and/or self-induced vomiting. THIS IS NOT SEXY! And why are we okay with it?

Okay, I am off my soapbox (for now). My battle with the scale turned into a rant, so thank you for being patient. At this point, I cannot bring myself to throw out the scale completely (maybe I will just have Eric hide it), but I do need to continue to change and reinforce what I think about it. It is a simple tool, not the end-all-be-all to good health. Are you part of the 2% satisfied with your body? I am trying. If not, rethink your ideal of beauty and what has shaped it.

Resolutions, Smezolutions.

It is said that what you do on New Year’s Day is a precursor of the year to come.  If this is true, thank you 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus that I did not spend all day suffering from a hangover. My typical (however 100% guaranteed) hangover relief of sweet tea, Chickfila and channel surfing just wasn’t going to cut it. This year, Eric and I traded our movie marathon for an exercise marathon that would challenge even the most compulsive exercise addicts. It started off with a run on Thursday, “Ripped in 30 Days” video with Julian on Friday (sorry to subject you to that workout, Amber), yoga on Saturday, a grueling three mile hike up Hanging Rock on Sunday and finally a four mile dog walk/drag on Monday. Pasha is still snubbing me.  At this rate, I would be as thin as a bean stalk in no time! Note, the use of the word “would.” I totally crashed on Tuesday – my body was utterly exhausted from a combination of strenuous activity, holiday madness and a mysterious bacterial infection (don’t ask).  I didn’t totally slip, still focusing on eating healthy and making smart choices, but from the comfort of the couch.

I received several emails and questions asking me if this blog is part of my New Year’s resolution. To that I say, no. Why? Well…because I am not making ANY resolutions. I could soooo easily play the part and give my typical “This year, I want to lose 25 pounds, eat better and save $30 a month by cooking at home.” But being totally honest with myself, after a few weeks, those general statements are always out the window and I am back to old trusty habits. Think about it. How many of your resolutions have you actually kept? That is what I thought. Instead, I am committing myself to a few specific challenges this year. I will:

1. Not go to exercise extremes unless being chased by the police or competing for a chance to meet Gerard Butler. I will do this by striving for 30 minutes of exercise five days a week.
2. Add more no/or minimally processed foods to my diet. You guessed it, Cheetos and Peeps are out.
3. Participate in a Sprint Triathlon in the spring. No really, I am doing this. Any takers?
4. Wear a red bikini by the pool this summer while at the same time not scaring away the little kids or looking like the Michelin Man.
5. Do it all without breaking my budget or joining the local meat market. Oops, I meant gym.

If you are one of the few actually taking time out of your busy schedule to read this, THANK YOU for your support. I was truly overwhelmed by the responses I received after posting this blog. I know it is uber corny, but in the words of the Beatles, “I will get by with a little help from my friends.”