All Aboard the Savings Train!

It has been a looooooooooooong time, actually maybe never, that I have addressed the “broke” part of this blog. And, after the response I got from my Facebook post last week about saving over $200 at the grocery store, I figured I would take a stab at a short financial piece. For those of you who read my blog for the fitness follies, never fear, my triathlon training is going great, only slightly derailed last week by a bee attack and poison ivy.

Just a disclaimer, I am NOT an extreme couponer (that show is insane!), nor do I claim to be a superhero saver. But, I have learned a few tips that may get you well on your way to spending less on groceries and keeping more money in your wallet, or piggy bank, or under your mattress -wherever you keep your extra money.

1. For those of you that HATE coupons, this first two are for you! Find out what day of the week your grocery marks down items, more specifically the fruits and vegetables. A lot of time, they will mark perfectly good items down because they may be a little misshaped, the color is off a bit, the items are getting too ripe, or the store has a surplus that week. I do this every week. Last week, we scored five green peppers that had a red/yellow mark on them and three pineapples because they were already ripe. Guess how much? $2.00 for all of it. Woohoo!
2. For the produce that I don’t get on discount at the grocery, I usually (time permitting) head to the farmer’s market. There is always amazing looking produce at a great price. And, you get to meet your local farmers. Or, you can beg and plead for your friends who have gardens (April and Tracy) to give you yummy things. But don’t be surprised if they ask you to pick it yourself!
3. Alright couponers, first thing is first – KNOW YOUR STORES COUPON POLICY! I do not shop at multiple stores. I don't have the time or extra gas. So, I make sure I know what I can do to maximize my coupons at my store. Most stores have this listed on their website. For example, many stores have limits on how many like coupons you can use, or the amount that they will accept in a single transaction.
4. While you are online looking at the store coupon policy, go ahead and sign up for any electronic savings programs they have. The store I shop (to remain nameless), sends me super savings in an email every Friday and they are only available to electronic club members. Super buys on eggs, milk, and the store organic brands. My store also allows you to combine their electronic coupons with paper coupons, doubling, sometimes tripling the savings! Here is an example…last week, my favorite dental floss went on sale for $2.25, and I am very particular about my floss.  I had a $0.75 hard copy coupon and a $0.75 store coupon. My store doubles the hard copy coupons, making it $1.50 off, plus the $0.75 electronic coupon and it was FREE! I always have several items like this on my grocery list.
5. BOGOS are my absolute favorites. I love them like chubby kids like candy. Here is why…most stores don’t really do BOGO – they mark both items down by ½. So, you can use two coupons! And if it is Buy Two, Get Three – you guessed it – you can use FIVE! This is where I usually score my pasta, sauces, and juice.
6. If a store is having an amazing sale and the shelf is empty, always ask for a rain check. Even if it wasn't on your list, get the rain check and benefit from the amazing price when you are ready. Last week, turkey bacon was on sale. I didn't need any, but they were out. So, I got a rain check and will wait until I have a coupon and then take my rain check back in. Score!
7. NEVER, ever, ever, under no circumstances throw away your coupons. Military families can use them at the PX (military grocery store on base) up to six months after they have expired. If you don’t know a military family, ask around. And, I am sure my sister in law would love to receive mail with coupons. 

That is just a short list and I hope it helps you. It may seem overwhelming at first, but once you get into the swing of it, you will rock it out. I am sure of it. There are tons of websites where you can print coupons. Just do a search and pick your favorite. I don’t spend hours upon hours couponing either - maybe an hour per week when I am making my grocery list. But you can spread that out over a few days or sneak it in here and there. And remember, “Free always tastes better.”

Home Remedy Epic Fail - The Calamitous Cocoa Incident

You can learn a lot from the teachers and words of centuries long past. However, most of the time, it is in hindsight that we even stop and consider this.  In the first century, a Latin writer, Publilius Syrus wrote, “There are some remedies worse than the disease.”

Most of this blog has focused on the transformation of a chubby chick, often times leaving out the “broke” aspects. There is a thin line between frugality and crazy, and most of you know that I toe that line on a daily basis. I am always on the lookout for good, cheap home remedies and have adapted several winners into my routine – vinegar for cleaning (thanks Pinterest), tobacco on bee stings (thanks Nanny), toothpaste on burns (thanks Mom), and  warm onions to soothe ear aches (thanks Momma Lori). But, for every home remedy that turns out to be awesome-sauce, there are at least five or six that are about as useless as a screen door on a submarine. 

This blog post came about a day after the incident, as I was too embarrassed to write about it yesterday. But, the dawning of a new day has enabled me to laugh at myself -the hysterical, gut-wrenching, tears coming out of your eyes kind of laughter that only happens when you realize that you have made a total and complete ass of out yourself.

I don’t really even want to waste the time in telling you, so I will just show you. Here is the Pinterest link of death: http://pinterest.com/pin/74872412527848459/. Hopefully the link works, if not, let me know. So now that you have had a good laugh at my expense, I will tell you that this was a HORRIBLE experience. Eric had a field day with this one. Not only that, my bathroom was covered in chocolate, Pasha chased me around the house, and I still smell like cocoa after soaking in a bath and taking a hot shower. Some thrifty fixes just aren’t for me. I will settle for pasty white until I get a few weekends of sunshine under my belt. 

Shiny, Happy Fit of Rage

Y’all know that I only write a blog post if I experience one of three conditions: 

1) Something A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

2) a complete fitness catastrophe or 

3) a tiny fit of rage. 

Well, you are in for a treat. Winner, winner, #3! I may have had a tiny fit of rage. Make that a huge fit of rage. Okay, a meltdown of epic proportions.

I left work early today so that I could make it to the gym for a swim before Silver Sneakers Water Aerobics. On the way, I stopped to get birthday and Mother’s Day gifts, being the loving, caring person that I am. I even went to Wal-Mart (thanks to Ms. April). I guess there is no such thing as a quick trip to the superstore, so I arrived to the gym at 5:00 pm, exactly an hour before the aerobics class. Well in time to get in a 30 minute swim. Or so I thought…

All the swim lanes were full and there were two swimmers ahead of me. I sat there at the side of the pool twirling my goggles as the minutes slowly crept past.  It was finally my turn – I was in the front of the line and I sensed the guy in the far lane slowing down. By that time there were two people in line after me. The guy stopped at the shallow end just as another guy walked in to the pool area. They exchanged the “bro” nod and the guy (who had not waited AT ALL, nor had he even showered off, disgusting) jumped into the lane. The guy who just finished looked at me with a mischievous smile and shrugged. Oh hell no…nobody’s got time for that!

It all happened so fast, and I honestly didn’t realize I could move that fast. In a flash, I leapt up from the side of the pool, running at a full sprint to the other end, arms flailing about, screaming and yelling that it was my turn. I know, it is embarrassing that I was acting like a five year old, but there were only 30 minutes before the oldies exercise and I was damn sure going to get my swim on. After I had told him (several times) that I had waited 30 minutes, there were people waiting even after me, and he was NOT taking my lane, he responded, “Well, I will share with you.” For some reason, that pushed me over the edge. I responded, rather obnoxiously, that “No, it is my lane. I will share with you. I was here first. Everyone saw you skip the line." Then under my breath, but in a semi-audible mumble, "Don't be a jackass." 

I thought I was clear enough and that he would go wait in line. No, he kept his Speedo ass in my lane and just started swimming. Well, not to be undone, I made a point to swim as fast as he did the ENTIRE 30 minutes. 24 laps at a full sprint. Holy crap, mother of God, I am exhausted. I half expect to get a letter in the mail from the gym asking me politely to never come back. But you know, in the end, it was totally worth it. I was able to assert my self (even if to no avail), while being pushed to my exercise limits. Maybe I should ask him to be my triathlon training partner. I could get so much done.  

Rider Etiquette - So Rude!

This week has been amazing – spring is here!!! And you know what that means…biking season. My FAVORITE time of the year. Eric and I went for a ride on Sunday (that was utterly brutal), but the true test of endurance and strength is the first road ride I do alone. With him, I feel safe, secure and confident in my riding. Put me out there alone and I turn into a low self-esteemed biking weenie. After it is over, I am good for the season. Don’t judge – it is super scary sometimes!  I don’t know what it is. That first ride by myself causes me severe anxiety and this afternoon I literally went back and forth, in and out of the house for 30 minutes debating with myself if today was “The Day.” Pasha must have thought I was a complete idiot.

I pulled on my big girl panties (well, biking shorts) and went for it. I opted for a pretty easy 15 mile ride with a few moderate hills and then one monster hill to climb about half way back.  All went splendidly – my bike was in fantastic condition thanks to Eric, I felt good, riding at a decent clip, maintaining a good pace, and just taking in the first signs of spring. Then, on the monster hill, it all turned sour.  My complaints are not about a vehicle or driver, but another rider, which makes me sad. It is quite possible that my mini anxiety attack contributed to me being overly sensitive about this, because now as I am writing this, I am not nearly as pissed off.  When it was happening, I was seeing red and all I could think about was how to phrase my rant to you all. Well, I won’t rant, but I will give a few tips to anyone who is thinking about venturing into the cycling community. I am choosing to be optimistic and hope the woman was a new cyclist and no one had taken the time to give her the low down.

1. Always say “hello”. In a sport where you are often dodging cars, dogs and God knows what else, you should always greet, acknowledge and respect your fellow rider. 
2. Wear a helmet. NO EXCEPTIONS. EVER.  
3. When you are passing someone going uphill, always a) let them know of your approach, the side you intend to pass on, and b) say something encouraging as you pass. This hussy (not abiding by tip 1 or 2), comes up beside me without a peep, scaring the living crap out of me. I was STRUGGLING up this hill AND getting passed (very quickly) did not do much for the ego. The least she could have said was, “You got this girl,” “Keep up the good work,” or fill in any other positive remark here. 
4. Here is where it gets good...Don’t overexert yourself trying to pass a slower rider and have to pull over to the side at the top of the hill and take a rest, or get sick, or whatever she was doing as I blew past her. Bahahahahahaha!!! Note: I am not technically breaking any rules as a) this is my blog, b) I did not use her name therefore am not breaching confidentiality, and c) hopefully she is not reading this. If so, work on your skills girl (and wear a damn helmet)!   

I think that about covers it. There are all types of riders, all with different styles and sub-group rules (hipsters, hard-core riders, casual cyclists, tandem riders, etc.), but abiding by these basic will get you a long way with everyone.

Let there be ROCK!

Life is music – everything has a rhythm, everyone has a dance. Music is not only within us, it is an amazing motivator helping us tackle even the most daunting of tasks. It is also a must-have during my workouts, so you know I was in a pickle when my iPhone plummeted to a watery death a few days ago.  Without giving it a second thought, I picked up Eric’s old iPod and headed to the gym. Oh how our musical tastes differ and my cycling workout went something like this:

Thunderstruck by ACDC

Blew by Nirvana

The Dope Show by Marilyn Manson

Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta by Geto Boys

Starseed by Our Lady Peace

Supersonic by Pearl Jam

Killing in the Name by Rage Against the Machine

Invincible by Ok Go

Several times throughout my workout, I caught myself feeling really out of breath and a bit more drained than normal.  I got pissed. All the work that I put into the gym on a regular basis and I was struggling to make it through a simple 35 minute cycling set. Then I realized…it had to be the music. My iPod is filled with classic rock, jam bands and acoustic artists with a few today’s hits peppered in there. Eric’s taste in music is a bit more “hard core” than mine. Without realizing it, I set my workout pace to the pace of the music and let loose. Rage Against the Machine is a bit faster than anything Janis Joplin ever sang and the standing sprints were brutal. But, to quote a much love, much played artist on my iPod (Bob Marley), “One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” And at the time, I didn’t feel pain, but Bob said nothing about the lingering effects of muscle exhaustion even two days later. Needless to say, Eric’s taste in music and iPod selection allowed me to experience an entirely different type of workout and I will most definitely be adding some new tunes to my workout play list.   

Heels or sneakers?

While waiting for yoga class today, a few of us were chatting about our exercise routines. Many were runners, others swimmers and a few cyclists. Most yogis are very calm, open-minded individuals, but you would have thought different as we approached our next topic – exercising in high heels. No, I did not mistype. One of the women in our conversation recently relocated from Manhattan and shared her disdain for this approach to exercise, a growing trend quickly gaining momentum among many young women. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say much. But once returning home, I quickly booted up my computer and let my fingers fly piloting Google search after Google search. It took me a few attempts to get to the meat of the search, as trying to figure out the correct search keywords proved a bit difficult. Searching for “working out in high heels” revealed a few more explicit results than expected.

My initial gut response was that this was a very foolish, reckless and even sexist idea. I have no desire and feel no sense of urgency to be able to walk in 5 in stilettos and strut my junk like a super model. Many studies have shown the extremely harmful outcomes of wearing high heels, and I can feel the strain on my knees and back within minutes due to the shoes throwing my spine out of whack.  

BUT…I do remember spending many of younger nights on the dance floor carefully toeing the line between “sweaty” and “sexy.” Could I have benefitted from a class of this nature to help me learn to shake my money maker in heels?  You betcha (even though I probably wouldn’t have gone even if it was available). Women in these classes report an amazing workout and huge boosts in confidence and that is not a bad thing, right?

I am going to sit the fence on this one. And I won’t be wearing high heels. To be honest, I really don’t give a damn. If you want to trade in your gym sneakers for a pair of gym stilettos, so be it. Glitter and glam your way to a new you! At least you are up moving instead of being a couch potato. But remember…It is all fun in games until someone breaks an ankle. Or an arm. Or takes a stiletto through the eye.  

Anyone else want to chime in sharing your thoughts? Here is the link to a recent Wall Street Journal article: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323854904578261831621279340.html#articleTabs%3Darticle

What a difference a few hours make.

A few weeks ago, Eric decided that he wanted to get back into a routine that included exercise. I was super excited that I would have my workout buddy back. That was until he told me he wanted to go BEFORE work. If you know me, you know I am not a morning person. I am a snoozer, a run out of the house at the last minute, put your make-up on as you drive kinda gal. My coworkers know to talk to me slowly, simply and to enunciate clearly until I have had at least two cups of coffee. I knew this was going to be difficult, but being the supportive wife that I am, I put on a brave face and hoped for the best. And, as it turns out, I actually like it! Eric lasted two days (I am still waiting for him to rejoin me), but I am still rising before the sun - and apparently everyone else in the apartment complex for that matter - to workout. This switch has made me realize that there are drastic differences between the gym at 6:00 am and 6:00 pm crowds. Those 12 hours sure make a huge difference...

6:00 am Gym Flow	6:00 pm Gym Flow
I always get a prime parking spot	I want to seek revenge on those who do the "swoop in" and steal my spot. Watch your tires folks!
No one matches and no one cares.	The motto for most is “Less is more.” Ugh. Cottage cheese legs galore.
People are actually using the equipment for its designated function.	The equipment is a prop often used to draw attention to certain sexual organs.
People watch the news or listen to their iPods.	People “people watch,” sometimes falling of the treadmill straining to get one last glimpse of the hottie that just went by. Yes, this does happen and did happen just a few weeks ago.
I have the choice of any workout equipment my little brain wants to torture my body with. Workout heaven!	I can only get a spot if I seek out my revenge, and you guessed it, use the “swoop in” method. I shamefully have to admit that I once jumped over a bicycle to get to a treadmill before someone else. She was not pleased.
I just feel so good when I am done, knowing I have already completed my daily workout!

How Pasha Got Her Groove Back...

Today’s weather was a sunny and balmy oasis in the midst of an otherwise dreary, cold, and icy winter. Temperatures soared into the high-60s, and I was determined to make the best of this rare, precious gem. So…I played hooky this afternoon (sorry Heather), and left the office a bit early.

This winter has been brutal, but I have to say that I honestly kept to my workout schedule and have considerably boosted my physical ability.  About a mile into my jog, however, I realized that my dog, Pasha, had not survived the winter unscathed. Her snorting, laying down in the middle of the greenway, and “fake” peeing so that we could stop really put a damper on the workout. If you have met Pasha, you know that she is no light-weight. Usually a jolly ball of muscle and enormous spunk, she was really struggling. Just look at her. Pitiful...

It was then that I realized that I have not been a good winter dog owner. As any dog owner knows, taking your loved one out in below freezing temperatures does not bring out the best in you. The trips are often rushed, filled with undignified pleas of “Hurry up. Go potty. Please, go potty” in that weird voice reserved only for pets and small children. Cool points gone.

I digress as always, so back to the point. Beginning tomorrow, Pasha will begin her “fit plan” to get back to her normal weight and exercise routine. I am not saying she has to get back to hiking status of years past when, thanks to Griffin McClure, we got lost in the woods for several hours only to run out of water, get stung by a swarm of bees, and encounter every spider web known to man before finding our way out of the jungle. Not really the jungle, just Uwharrie, but who is counting?  No, she just needs to make it through the three mile run and assist in my training for the upcoming sprint triathlon. Wish her luck! Maybe I will get her some zebra print sweatbands. After all, she has to look good while working out. 

Haters gonna hate...

I hit the gym right after work today, hoping to squeeze in a good workout before the “Dangerous Winter Storm Iago” pounded us with 3-5 inches of snow. I swear, mid-westerners must think we are idiots.  I also thought the pending snow storm would curtail some of the gym newbies still high on their New Year’s resolution kicks from the gym and over to the grocery store for their staples of milk, bread and eggs. I am always amazed at how many people flock to the stores to get these few items. I don’t know about you, but if it is going to snow and I am going to be stuck inside, I don’t want my only meal option to be French toast. How about packing the cart with some chicken and shrimp, fruits, veggies and you might as well throw in some expensive wine for good measure. I mean really…

Once again, I digress and truly apologize. Back to the gym topic. If you look at the world through the eyes of 3LW (to save you country lovers the hassle of looking this one up, it is a hip hop, soul and R&B group popular in the early 2000’s), there are four types of people in this game we call life: playas, haters, callers, and ballers.  Over 99% of the time, I would consider myself a baller – I have style, class, and am generally good at what I do. I typically don’t do stuff I am not good at because it pisses me off, but that isn’t really relevant to this topic of conversation. But over the past two weeks, the New Year’s resolution seekers who are clogging up the gym are throwing me off my game. I will be the first to admit that at gym time recently, I transform from baller to hater. I know, it is shameful and I should wish the best for others and be in support of their healthy choices, but they are just constantly pissing me off. Last week, when I was walking in, one lady had the nerve to complain that she couldn’t find a parking spot and she had to walk a long way to the gym. Really? Another one strategically positioned herself in front of a large group of guys before bending over to do her “stretches.” They were cute, but puke. One guy tried to carry on a conversation while we were swimming laps, and another farted his way through spin class. Today was much better. Whether it was the snow or just the fact that it is 17 days into the month and people’s steely determination and laser-like focus on getting healthier has faded, the gym has gone back to normal. Just the way I like it.