OMG (that is oh my goodness for all you old folks), today’s workout was a doozie! Mother Nature in all her glory rained down buckets last night and most of today, canceling my mountain bike ride with Ms. Megan McClure. By the time I got home from work, changed and headed over to the gym, the spinning cycle class (my intended back-up) had already started. I needed the motivation of a group, so I decided to enter the 60 minute barbell class. This is where it all started to go south…
Class was scheduled to star at 6:35 and I got there at 6:30, meaning I was late, as I had to get all the equipment together and march my tail all the way to the front of the class because the back and sides were already taken. I HATE being in the front, as I sometimes have a rhythm problem and I knew I would get quite a few “bless her hearts” thrown my way. For y’all reading this blog that do not live in the south, that term is never good - they may as well have said, “She looks as stupid as a one legged cat in a sandbox.” But, I was determined to give it a try. I bribed the lady next to me with a trip to the juice bar after the workout if she would help me coordinate all my weights, bars, mats and other miscellaneous equipment. I didn’t really think she would take me up on the offer, but she did. Thank you, Jesus!
When I say barbell, I don’t mean the little pink and green free weights you use in aerobics, oooooooohhhhhh no. I am talking the dead lift and clean and jerk type of bar. FOR 60 MINUTES!! I was pouring sweat 10 minutes in and we had only finished the warm-up. I thought Julian Michaels was a bitch and a half. This instructor could match her toe to toe and probably gouge Julian’s eyes out without batting an eyelash and still wearing a big friendly smile. There should be a warning posted for the classes:
WARNING: When you leave, none of your body parts will like you anymore. And, don’t expect to look respectable or polished after completing this workout. You will look like you were hit by a Mack truck.
I will not get into the details about how many bicep or tricep curls, dead lifts, squats, clean and jerks, bench press, chest flies, or abs exercises (AB EXERCISES WITH WEIGHTS I MIGHT ADD) that I struggled through, but to give you an idea of the impact, on my way out the door, I had to stop twice. Once because my upper abs muscles were cramping and another because my right knee buckled under me. It looked like I was having my own church service in the middle of the gym. I even cut myself during the workout somehow, so I had blood dripping down my leg…
Even now two hours after the workout, I am looking at my dinner and contemplating sticking my head near the plate and licking my food off, rather than attempt to use any muscles to raise a fork to my mouth. Regardless of the pain, I am proud to say that I have a feeling I am soon to become one of the class regulars – having the opportunity in the future to make fun of newbies like myself as they stroll into the class, oblivious of what is soon to come.
